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10 Things Nobody Tells You About Being A Single, Career-Oriented Woman in Your Twenties 2

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6. Men who you meet socially will not necessarily love your success (they may even be intimidated by it).

Remember the bell curve? Well, you’re toward one end of it. And there’s a good chance that a lot of people who you meet socially won’t be on the same end of that bell curve as you. Suddenly, you’re either at work with your equally-achieving, married male colleagues or you’re out at the bar dancing to 2 Chainz. Not great.

7. If you don’t slow down in your career, then don’t expect your personal life to change.

“What you focus on expands” is one of my favorite sayings because I find it to always be true. If you focus solely on your career, then it will excel, leaving your relationships stagnant. Just something to think about if you actually want to “settle down” one day (and if you work a ton, any sort of setting down probably sounds great).

8. The masculine energy that you use at work is not great for your dating life.

Everyone has both masculine and feminine energy. Masculine energy is decisive, logical, direct, competitive, strong, plans and is result-oriented. Feminine energy is soft, relational, emotional, creative and journey-oriented. If you spend all day working and are using mostly masculine energy, you need to realize this and try to turn it off when you’re dating. This reminds me of Patti Singer, who often coaches female millionaires by telling them to “put their d*** away” (pardon the expletive, but you get the point — you’re not attractive to masculine men if you’re constantly in your masculine energy).

9. It’s a good idea to be involved with other women and/or feminine activities to maintain some level of girly-ness.

In an effort to maintain a better standard of reality and embrace your femininity, you need to get around other women when you’re not working or at least do activities that bring out your feminine qualities (like yoga or book club or whisky tasting — whatever the women in your office do).

10. You need to take the time to reflect on whether this is what you actually want for yourself.

Up to this point, you probably excelled in school and followed a path that everyone around you encouraged and applauded. Now that you’re in your career and things are going full speed ahead, you need to think about whether this is what you actually want. I stumbled upon a fantastic article by Penelope Trunk, where she says “you can control where you spend your time and energy, and you should look hard for a husband early on. Line up the marriage first, then the career.” Her point being that if you are so career-oriented in your twenties and thirties, you’ll wake up one day without having a husband or kids, which is not what you wanted.

I certainly don’t have any of the answers to these problems, but these issues are all things I wish I knew earlier, and that I will be thinking about as I move forward in life.

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