I was supposed to be a SAHM, but it is time to return to work: tell me it will all be okay!

I am applying for full time work in my industry and am pretty confident I will get the position I’m after in the firm of my choice. I’ve been out of the game for 2 years.

The plan was always for my husband to work and for me to be a typical home maker once we had children: raise babies; cook, clean, etc.; even home school the kiddos.

After years of struggling we’ve finally decided I should be the one to work full time and my husband will be the primary on all above mentioned duties, while only working 10-15 hours a week. We are both at peace about this choice and excited about the future. I have been freelancing more consistently for the past 3 months, and we’ve slowly been adjusting to this roles – he’s done a much better job home schooling my son than I.

Has anyone else gone through a similar situation?

I know this choice is what’s best for my family- I have a much higher earning potential than he, am ambitious and thrive in professional atmospheres. In fact, I’ve been depressed most of the past two years and freelancing has really helped with that. We never have any money to do anything other than pay bills – and we are always behind on them. Any full time job I get would resolve that in a few months, and open doors to savings, experiences, the ability to be generous. My son has recently been diagnosed with a medical condition and having quality health insurance has suddenly become a priority…

But I guess I am mourning what I thought my life would be with my small children (ages almost 5 & 2). No more play dates, mommy & me classes, trips to the farm/museum/play yards on an empty Tuesday morning. Will I still have that closeness with my children? Will they trust me? Will they miss me? How much am I going to miss not being there?

Some of you may be wondering why it took so long for me to apply for work to begin with – the answer is I was really trying to support my husband in his career. With him working full time, I had no affordable childcare, and felt “stuck”. It can be really hard to realize the man you love struggles with employment. Even after I realized it, he did not and it can be challenging for someone to come to terms with that reality when all they want is to be the “provider” to their family. There are definitely a lot of traditional themes attached to this whole situation.

So, I need to hear from all of you strong women – who have always done this, choose to do it, have no choice: by all means, honesty and criticism are welcome.

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