Still sleep deprived

I am a mother of two. I have a 7 year old and a 16 month old. I work full time, with my hours being mainly 4 a.m. to 12 p.m. My fiance works opposite shifts as me so that we always have someone home with the children. He gets them ready in the morning and I’m with them for dinner and bedtime. I am an assistant manager at a grocery store, and the purchaser for the sub team. I went back to work when my baby was three or four months old. I had a rough time with her, and I’m pretty sure I suffered from a bit of postpartum depression. She was not an easy baby compared to my 7 year old. She didn’t sleep through the night until she was 10 or 11 months old. Even now, she still wakes up once a night to nurse for 20 minutes and then falls right back asleep. I know I should wean her off of that, but that’s a different subject. After I get the kids into bed between 7-8 p.m., I’m asleep around 8-8:30 p.m. then I get about 3 hours of sleep until my baby wakes up to nurse, then another hour and a half until my alarm goes off to get ready for work. Broken sleep is the worst. I recently started my assistant manager job at work it’s not difficult per se, but it is more challenging than my previous job. I feel like my work performance has been slipping since I got the promotion. Since I am not sleeping as much as I should, and have not gotten enough sleep for the average human being since I had my baby 16 months ago, I feel like my memory is terrible. I wish I could remember normal stuff at work, or with day to day activities. Sometimes coworkers will remark on how bad my memory is. I feel like I can’t contribute as much as I want at work because of my lack of energy. Does anyone else experience this? I just feel like I’m putting all of my available sleep-deprived energy into my kids, since I am alone with them in the evening, instead of putting my energy toward my home life and my work. I didn’t experience this kind of baby blues or work issues with my first kid.

Edit: I also feel like no one at work really understands. Or can empathize. I feel like workers in the U.S. are just expected to pop a kid out and keep going with a 40 hour work week, as if we have nothing else going on.

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